New home

The muscles in the lower right side of my neck are on major spaz-mode. I don't usually complain about ailments, dancing has taught me to use physical pain as an impetus to move more "creatively". HOWEVER, this neck almost paralysis thing is no joke. It's gotten to the point where I'd just love to have one of those cushy neck braces my high school literature teacher wore, Dr. Andrews, just so I could have a little support. Dr. A could have taught college students but preferred the high school challenge (or so she said). She never hurt her neck really, she just wore the brace from time to time to cause it felt good.

Holistically speaking, as my chiropractor/healer/shaman/boss/doctor told me, it's got something to do with not being able to trust situations and people and situations with people very easily. I can't deny this entirely, lord knows I work on this 'trusting' thing daily. Also, he said, "it's got something to do with your mother". Ahh! What was I supposed to do with THAT information?!

On another note, Rann and I are moving into our new apartment in a few days! We'll be moving out of Brooklyn and into Manhattan finally! It's kinda a big deal cuz we've been working on being able to make this move happen for a long time. I can feel my body reacting to the change in rhythm already (hence the neck?! Perhaps). Who knows. Gotta trust IT.

Our own cozy little studio in Chelsea, here we come!!

As far as the change in rhythm, we're stepping it up a notch with a brand new creative venture: The Thank You Carl Studios! A photography production house. We decided on the name, in memory of Carl Hoitala. He was an avid lover of photography and lived a life of peace through his art. We just recently acquired much of his equipment and came up with the name and idea practically on the spot. I'm so thrilled to own quality equipment, it's a dream come true for me. Every time I think about it, all I can think is -- Thank you Carl!

Here are a few of our newest images:

These images are from film. I love using film because there's a depth and hidden dimension in the film that produce highly brilliant, classically beautiful images with each held together by a million molecules of various emotions that I feel I just have to use film one way or another. I'll only go more d

igital if I can get my hands on a Leica M9 Rangefinder. Then, and perhaps only then, I'll happily make the switch :)

Park Bench

Heady reflections at union square park today. I missed my hair cut appointment so was SOL for a few hours before heading to work. 'Twas nice though, just sitting and listening and trying to stay awake to enjoy it ALL. I was chocked up on a latte, but sometimes when all I need is a good hardy nap, coffee makes me sleepier! I wrote in my new little journal Meibelle gave me. It's so pretty with blue and purple flowers and paisley designs. I wrote about things like the universe, things I want and rainbows!! Writing feels so great.

I wore a new pair of winter boots with heels today. Heels are a new and wonderful experience for me. I only recently learned how to walk in them! Go fig. Now that I know how to walk in them I could wear them all day in the city, seriously-- :) It's amazing but they really bring out a new femininity unknown to me. My posture actually becomes better and my coat fits differently!

I'm excited about the weekend. Rann and I are taking a road trip upstate into the catskills. Nature valley here we come! Maybe we'll see fairies playing chess on mushroom tops. Hopefully there's a little more foliage to be seen.

New Headphones Rockin My World

Life is good...

Infinity Wellness Center :)

I can no longer go without writing about my job at Infinity Wellness Center. :)

I work there 3 days, roughly 20 hours a week. And I've been there for 2.5 years! My first day was Dec 5th, 2006. Almost as long as I've been in NYC--fantastique. I remember the first time I stepped foot into the office space, it felt like I was a snowman whose snow slowly and finally started to melt off and drop away. I remember taking a deep breath and smiling in my insides. There was an embracing glow about the place. I distinctly remember the plants by the huge window and a certain stillness I was desperately seeking from the moment I arrived to the city. I met the doctor and the office manager who immediately felt like my new family and knew that not only would I work there but that the job itself would be a gift.

For the most part I assist. I ensure the two are comfortable and supported in their daily tasks and for our 'clients' I smile a lot and give LOTS of hugs! A few days ago, I bumped into one of our clients on the street. She's 81 years old and could have been one of my neighbors in Augusta Georgia where I grew up. She's sweet and southern and amazing. She travels an hour by subway to make it into our office twice a week. So we bump into each other and she starts congratulating me about the wedding. I thank her and ask how she is and she begins to talk about one of her most recent Buddhist retreats. She practices Zen buddhism and loves the quiet meditation and the philosophical enquiry. So I listen to her experiences and realizations, at 81, and am filled with an immense sense of gratitude for the simple fact that I can stand on a street corner in New York City sharing in a moment of truth with this exquisite being. We hug tightly and then go on our ways. Simply spectacular and then this is my job 3 days a week.

In the office, clients come in not really to share their life so much but to journey somewhere within themselves and then ultimately give back to their world. They go into a beautiful room (the one with the plants and huge windows!) position themselves tummy down on a chiropractic table, community style with 5 other people doing the same thing, then depending on each person's timing, dive into their own abyss. Personally speaking, I once experienced myself dancing on a beach right at the ocean's edge. Happy and joyful being in my body and dancing! My interpretation of this session was that I need to bring my dancing spirit to my everyday activities like going to the post office and buying groceries. Instead of just saving it for a dance class, when leading a presentation, or basically when I know I'm in front of 'an audience'.

The technique is called Network Spinal Analysis and the doctor serves as a guide to help each person treat their own symptoms, be they headaches, back pain, muscle tension and even cancer, depression and spiritual unrest. The idea is that symptoms arise when daily actions do not coincide with the body's needs. For me, I go into a depressive state when I cop out of an opportunity to fully express myself, vocally and through my actions. Somehow, when I was little I learned self-expression was not always socially acceptable and that I should always censor myself. Yikes!--and my body says "girl u betta get it OUT or Ima mess u up--" haha, but seriously in my body there's an old black woman who sits on the porch and TELLS me things. Her name is Agatha. Always letting me know what's up. Oh yeah, I'm from the SOUF. Thanks for everything Miss Aggie!

But seriously, again, I'm grateful to work at a place that's purposefully dedicated to healing individuals and communities, a mission very much in line with my SGI activities!

Infinity Wellness and beyond! Yay!

(I would add our website link, but after almost 3 years, it's still not finished! haha, Go fig. But you can go here to learn more about Network Spinal Analysis: www.wiseworldseminars.com or come in for a looksee. We are located 27 W 20th St. 10011)

Dancing in the Fun

Wow, our California Wedding Extravaganza is over and what a fantastic time we all had! I could write about the past 10 days forever but I think it's better and easier to just show pictures and write only a little!

We were all able to put a wedding together for Rann and I in just 1 week. We arrived last Saturday and were out and about almost immediately meeting vendors, making decisions, not making decisions then finally making them. Everyone we met was so helpful and sweet and ready to do business.

Being back on the campus brought back the safety and freedom I first experienced about 7 years ago when I was a freshman.

(wow!) The sun was as kind and warm as ever and the wind was gentle and caressing and life felt expansive again. I once told a friend years ago that there was no other place on earth like SUA. My friend reproached me that my limited worldwide travels didn’t permit me to make such a statement. I just ignored such cynicism. I dare anyone to disagree with me! I'll always be a part of this place and a part of it is with me.

The ceremony was held in the garden at Soka University of America on September 12^th, 2009 -the always magical Athenaeum garden!

Many lofty memories are still held there. Too many to recall at the moment but a few poignant ones: embarking on a hike to the ocean from the garden’s lookout point on my 21^st birthday, dancing healing waves with Tali and Mals, moon viewing, peeling oranges on the grass and talking, being with the mist that gathers in the canyon at dusk, tears, laughter, all the seasons in the garden.

Being there on this new occasion, in ceremony with Rann, my new partner in life (and crime—haha) our families and friends, those memories seemed to bear witness to something new and exciting. The winding presence of butterflies and rainbow-colored paper cranes seemed to highlight a joy found in all things uniting~ creatively! The garden is a symbol of peace, a renewed addition to my own inner landscape that is constantly expanding from east to west and back again. I’m so grateful to SUA's founder Daisaku Ikeda for building a place for people to gather and celebrate each other.

Friends and family traveled from all over to be present for the wedding. We had a rehearsal the night before to prepare for the dancing portion of the ceremony. I felt happy again teaching dance. It was thrilling to see everyone come together in dance! There’s nothing more joyous than dancing. I decided not to perform but I wanted to make sure my dancing spirit was there throughout. My mom was doing the little dance I taught her all weekend!! Priceless.

Some of us girls went out after the rehearsal for a little rite of passage ceremony at the beach before the big day. I won't write much about it except for that we threw grapes into the night Pacific, ate tiramisu and

acknowledged our feminine selves through each other. I love connecting with my girlfriends, a truly a beautiful feat that I miss doing very much. And then we went out for sushi!!!

When I think about it, our families combine the cultures of the Chinese, Spanish, Filipino,

Japanese and Russian-Jewish Americans! That only means one thing: Koooosen-Rufu all the way--hai!

Now it’s time to return to NYC. To our apartment in Brooklyn, subways, narrow sky scapes, hard sidewalks, jobs, SGI activities, dinner dates, performances, shoe sales...

Next stop, a new apartment accessible to nice breezes, near trees and chirpy birds! (fingers crossed) ***

But I can honestly say I feel so refreshed from the whole experience.

Brava!

Eat Kielbasas, smile, cry and Be MARRIED!: CHECK!!

what can i say?

After a long week of intense planning and decoration-making and being super stressed because my to-do list

never ended and and and...

everything flowed beautifully! I will be forever grateful to the

beautiful women who rallied behind me and

Rann to make sure this rite of passage was a smooth and joyous one. And also there's nothing truly more wonderful than to be surrounded by family and friends. :)

Here's a tiny sampler of the sweetnesses from the week...

Marriage Rocks!!

Make it to CALI: Check

We made it to the OC! yipyip! It feels like we're working on a major production project and the final wrap is right around the corner. The days are counting down.

Today Rann's dad met with Gang NYC and ended up driving us around A LOT. Thank you Dad! First off, we visited the SUA campus to check out the venue. The first thing I noticed was that it was h o t. Too hot for comfort I'm afraid :( but the landscape was breathtaking (as usual).

Followed that with Asian Buffet.

Afterwards Nati met us at Janae's bakery: Charmed Cupcakes in Long Beach--Her shop was so cute and lovely--for one final...cake tasting! Janae was so thorough with us, I really loved and appreciated this about her. She set up two long tables and chairs for the 7 of us to sit at, bottles of water and 2 dozen cupcakes to try!

They looked gorgeous and tasted even better than the mailed batch. We then talked details details details. LOVED being there! And I got to see Nati!!! Yumminess all around!! ;)

There's a long week of planning and such ahead of us. Looking forward overall excited :).

One more of me and Nats (love this one of us):

(I think she seriously thinks of everything! Thank you beyond)

Rann and his Papa:

The ladies:

Vinny and purple flowers.

NYC --> Orange County

Packing, planning,

emailing,

calling.

Shoes: Check!

Couldn't resist, posting my NEW SHOES! Thank you Suzanne for your expertise. I'd recommend your services anytime. !

Pork-Cheap

Today was such a lovely day in the city. How and where do I begin?! How about from the night before?

I met up with my SUA family at the Crocodile Lounge for a mini reunion. I do LOVE these gatherings. Not always hip about chucking myself way UPtown for them but fortunately for my Brooklyn-bound butt it was held downtown--yay. Tomomi reminded me of of 19th Century Literature class with Prof. Merod and said it was one of the classes she remembers most from SUA. Then she almost immediately reminded me of the day I cried in class because we were discussing a poem by Walt Whitman and for whatever reason I felt the need to discuss and

cry. In front of everyone. soooo, totally embarrassed by this poignant memory of hers, I just smiled really wierdly and said, "yeah?!" Tomomi was so sincere and said she was really touched by my reading of the poem. I wanted to cry. I didn't. but i wanted to.

so that was the beginning.

Next day (today) Rann and I decided to walk the George Washington Bridge. We've lived in NYC for 3 years together and have never done this. For whatever reason, we were supposed to wait until this exact day

at the exact time of day to do just this, cuz it was so wonderful! The breeze, the Hudson, the cars wooshing by, the wonder of the bridge, the walking in actual walking shoes and oversized green shorts and the picture taking...sensational.

Then we took a trip to Chinatown to meet Vinny. 5 minutes in her apartment, her 90yr old mama comes out smiling from ear to ear recognizing Rann and warmly greets him with open arms "Pooork - cheeeeep" !! It's Rann's Chinese name, even though it's not really Pork- Cheap, it just sounds a lot like it and oddly enough fits Rann very well, indeed! (i won't get into it, but if you'd just see how thrilled he gets when he finds a good deal on pork shoulder!!!) She cooked us all fried rice and noodles and I just felt right at home :) Rann and I went to work inventorying and documenting V's photography equipment. We're helping her sell them all. In the process I fell in love with a Lumix point-and-shoot. Eventually I asked her if I could buy it. She said yes and now I sleep with it like it's my teddy bear. Well not really, but I do get parental with my cameras. Like I'll wrap it in a blanket at night. Ok, enough about that.

Not only did I leave with a brand new Lumix, still-in-the-box (!!) but a book by Susan Sontag, essays on photography and another book of essays (on photography). I do enjoy a good read about photography but absolutely not as much as photography itself. Dear!

I felt quite jolly, full, and happy to have exercised today.

Thank You Cards on Etsy

All in all I've really enjoyed planning the wedding. Sure it can be stressful, but I've learned a lot about myself and what I *want*. Since Rann and I are artists I was wondering how we can create something of our own for the wedding. Rann is going to be singing and playing in the ceremony! And I'll be dancing --with a few select others-- I'm keeping the details a surprise for now, but we're both really excited about the ceremony plans!! I'll have to post a video later :)

Anyway, I decided to uncover my --much missed--inner-crafter once again. Instead of inv

esting in beautiful invitation and thank you cards, I decided to buy supplies to make my own. I got so excited about what was happening I followed the urge to sell some on Etsy.com. This is a site dedicated to handmade items made by artisans all over the world. I LOVE ETSY! Check out my card shop at: http://www.etsy.com/shop.php?user_id=7759766

Hehe. I haven't gotten any buyers yet but it's been fun

thinking "business and craft".

Dress: Check

Yay! Dress found, next stop: shoes! Going with Suzanne tomorrow to find the perfect pair! Can't wait.

On another *exciting* note, I came home today to a HUGE box of CUPCAKES! on my doorstep! I'm not even making this up! Nati and Janae at Charmed Cupcakes in Long Beach, CA wanted me to have a taste of my wedding cake and since I won't be in Cali for another week, they SENT them to me!!! Inside the huge box (which was 3/4 the size of me) were three bakers boxes, one with green tea cupcakes, one with red velvet and the other with a pastry tube of cream cheese frosting! I MEAN--WOW>. I waited until Rann came home and then we chowed down on samples. We hands down voted for the red velvet. It was obviou

s that the red velvet was Janae's specialty. It was the most delicious red v

elvet cake I've ever EVER had. (sigh) I think I'll remember this day for all time. :)

This is Janae's company: www.charmed-cupcakes.com

Gowns Gowns Gowns!

The search for the *perfect* wedding dress continues...  I went to the Macy's yesterday.  I've lived in NYC for 3 years now and it was the first time I stepped foot in the famous Macy's at Herald Square.  I guess I'm just not a big fan of the store.  Anyway, I went straight to the 8th FL--the Bridal Salon.  The dresses..er gowns.. were magical, to say the least.  No matter how much I say "ichhk" to traditional gowns, I couldn't help but be sucked into the sheer fairy tale-ness of them all.  

They were all lined up like a squadron each vying for my attention--each individually wrapped in thick clear plastic from top to bottom, making that sound my patent leather shoes from seventh grade made when I smushed them against each other.  

About the salon~~the lighting.  Loved it.  I'm a lighting fahreak.  That's one thing I hate about Macy's and every other department store is the awful lighting.  The fluorescent lighting is so awful it feels like my soul is being sucked right out of me! Right there! At the clearance rack!  And I'm not even trying to be dramatic about it--it just reaally bothers me.  I can't stay in stores like that for too long.  It's almost like people in the wedding industry get this.  The lighting in the salon was bright, warm and just perfectly lit.  Designed for perfection, much like gowns themselves.  

Now I know why it's good to do this thing~shopping for the *perfect* dress~in pairs, at least.  The gowns were immense, towering larger than life on their racks.  How can one person manage trying those things on all alone?  The longer I stayed there admiring the gowns, it seemed like all the puffy frou frou began to be just too much.  I think I need someone to hold my hand next time.    

I went a few floors down to look at ready made bridesmaid dresses and as soon as I stepped into that familiar neon lighting and noticed the haphazard arrangement of dresses on racks--I actually felt like I could breathe again.  The dresses were UUUUGGGLY though.  Hideous even!  

Anyway, I want to go back to a salon!  It was like walking into a magical forest, or something.  I'll go in pairs--at least.  

The Lettuce Dress

Went with the Riks to the Isabel Toledo exhibit at FIT on Wednesday.  I simply LOVED her clothes and I'm sure I can say the same for Riks.  We were both in awe of the exquisite designs, adopting origami and "Bjork" couture.  Just fantastic.  I particularly loved the Lettuce dress.  It's name says it all--reminiscent of iceberg lettuce with layers that just dance around the body and a cheerful coral color to match.  I imagined walking down the aisle in a "lettuce" dress.  smile.